One of the biggest things I have had to learn recently is that you can't live in the past. Now, I will undoubtedly always have PTSD because of certain things. Things I don't talk to many people about.
A widow's journey is not an easy one. I see my therapist and deal with the things I need to deal with. I read about others' journeys dealing with mental health struggles, and the main thing I take from mine and everyone else's journey is that you can't live in the past.
In recent years I have struggled with living a life that no longer exists. Going through the motions of each day. I have struggled to move forward with life.
As widows and widowers, we tend to get trapped in a never-ending vortex. A place where we always want to reside, but no longer can.
I am in many widowed groups. Has it taken me longer than some to realize this? Sure. But not as long as others.
I am blessed with the ability to be able to share my story and to help others on this journey by giving them some encouragement. Some encouragement and advice that I have failed to use myself... But, I no longer want to live in the past. I no longer want to live a life "left out".
I have felt more alive this past month while spending time with my kids and grandkids and simply accomplishing things around the house than I have in the past 5 years.
My promise to myself is to not live in the past any longer. I no longer exist there. While my love of the past and everyone in it will never change it is time to move forward. To move forward to a better me, not just for me, but for my kids and grandkids as well.
To be the best me I can be. To face my mental health issues head-on, tackle them bravely, and never give up.
To all who have supported me and have shared your encouragement, you have no idea how much I appreciate each, and every one of you!
![Photo of Guest Writer, Dulcie Bercaw.](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/42a99f_2294e9b88b374704b421d9490fa142b4~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_720,h_764,al_c,q_85,enc_auto/42a99f_2294e9b88b374704b421d9490fa142b4~mv2.jpg)
You have kids and grandkids and to an extent you can continue to live in the past through memory growing up with them. It's much, much harder if you don;t have that connection. I do have her brothers though who are still alive. I have narrowed all "what-if's" down to one. And I have seen her in heaven in a new body, that of a 26 year old in a happy scene with my mother preparing for a feast. The lord enabled me to interact with her. It was lovely and what I needed.
Another great, encouraging blog entry, Dulcie! Thank you, my friend. 🙂