Looking For Love by Natalie Forbes Neal

Looking for love for humans is a mission we are all born with and seek from the time we look for our parents' approval.

Looking for love after the loss of a spouse is a particularly challenging one, especially when you were happily married for a long period of time. The idea of opening your heart to someone else can be daunting; full of fear, apprehension, and reservation. For me, it is inevitable that I would want to be loved again when I had a loving marriage. Why wouldn't a person want to feel that way again? It would be new. It would be different. It would be love. We as humans are capable of loving on so many different levels - why not seek that? However, finding love? Well, that is not so easy!

As a woman, I've found this part of my journey challenging, and in a lot of ways, it is just dumb. Why does it have to be so hard? I'm not a difficult woman. At least I don't think so! Maybe there's someone out there who would beg to differ lol!

So in the interest of streamlining the process and assisting any gentleman who might be interested in me, here are the top ten things I look for in a man.

1. Confidence. A man who is confident and sure about who he is, and what he brings to the table is very attractive to me.

2. Stability. Mentally and financially.

3. Great communicator. Be able to express yourself intelligently whether it's verbally or in text. I think we underestimate the power of a good Texter!

4. Have the capacity to love another. I completely believe in the adage: I love myself first and best. However, a person must also have the ability to love another with great passion and energy.

5. Know who you are. I'm not going to try to fix you. Come to me whole: a complete man ready to experience something new, while understanding your own needs first.

6. Chemistry. You just need it! I need it! And you know it when you feel it! It doesn't have to be worked on or developed in my opinion. It just IS.

7. Care about how you look. I love a man who looks good in a suit, a pair of jeans or sweats. Whatever you wear, make it look good! Great grooming goes a long way in my book and is REQUIRED. I make an effort to look good, you should too.

8. Have an open mind. Think for yourself and have opinions based on learning something new. If you are not growing, you are dying. Be open to learning something. There is no one way to do any of this. Relationships and marriage are based on trust and great communication. If you have both, then the world is your oyster and together, you can have wonderful experiences!

9. Expressions of love. Understand what your love language is. How you give it, and how you receive it. Be able to express your needs to your partner in a way that is received and reciprocated.

10. Be honest and be available. If you are not honest about where you are, such as your relationship status, or what you are looking for, you should keep on moving. If you're not truly available because you're not single or because you work too much and know that you can only give one day a month to someone, then you should be honest about that upfront. Present your best self to a woman, but always be honest. Let her decide on whether she wants to pursue something with you.

Bonus items: Tall, bigger, beard, likes live music, dancing, motorcycles, and the outdoors. None of these are deal breakers. If you have the other above items, then everything else falls into place in my opinion.

Those who know me know this: I am no quitter. I also know that what is for me has already been designed and placed for me. I will never settle. Instead, I choose to live a very passionate and positive life filled with opportunities that I create for myself. However, I hold the door open for someone who would like to join me on a motorcycle or the dance floor!