Keep Going by Sadie Irene

Back in February John posted here about our relationship, and it was so lovely to get pinged through the day with notices that we had comments of support and encouragement. I want to extend that same experience to him, so I thought I’d share about our relationship from my point of view.

Almost one year ago now, on what would have been otherwise a random Friday night, I saw a post in this group. Mind you, I was very inactive on here, never made a post, and rarely commented…..but this post was about food. And that’s my jam. Someone had pictures up of their beautiful dinner and asked what everyone else was up to that night. John posted that he and his kids were eating pizza and watching the latest episode of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I think at this point I asked what he thought of the episode, and we chatted a bit on the post.

That could have been the end of it, but he sent a friend request and I felt this…I’ve described it as a nudge…but it was more of a shove somewhere in the back of my mind. So I messaged him. And I probably overwhelmed him with questions about MCU and Disney, but he didn’t seem to mind.

He made it clear from the get-go that he was not ready to or looking to date yet. He wasn’t opposed to being friends, and that was just fine by me. One can never have too many friends. So we became good friends. Along the way, there were moments when I would see what a great guy he was. I could happily see myself in the friend role, encouraging him on his path, but also felt the connection we had, the ease of conversation was something special. John….was not there yet.

Sometime around Autumn, he realized there could be more, and at the urging of his therapist/flight attendant he decided to give me a call and ascertain whether there was a connection “in person” perhaps I was just a flowery writer? Perhaps I was a robot? I can’t believe we got to this stage in our friendship without him asking me to fill in a single captcha.

Once I heard his voice and saw his face. I was a goner. And as it was my understanding that he was still operating in “friend mode” I had to bring myself back down to earth repeatedly after that phone call. We talked. Every week. And then one week, after a phone call I received a message “I know we’re like 1000 miles away from each other, but do you ever think there could be more to our relationship?” To which I responded, “First off, you’re only 863 miles away……” But honestly, I think we could have made it work even with 1000 miles.

We’ve been on many dates now. In-person and on the phone. I never tire of talking to him, and for now, the absences make the heart grow fonder. But I’m looking forward to the day when we no longer have to “make 863 miles work”.

I’ve thought often of all the little steps that I took that landed me on this path, the seemingly insignificant choices and also the nudges, the shoves, and the bigger choices. They got me here, walking this path, with John at my side.

Take little steps or big steps, but whatever you do, keep going, and keep your eyes open to the possibilities all around you.