Just One More Chance by Kelly Simpson

You've searched your whole life for that special someone...the one who takes your breath away...the one who you would do anything for...the one who just makes you a better person ...the one who makes you all giddy inside... the one who you love with everything you have inside.... the one who loves you back more than anything...the one who you want to spend the rest of your life with... Then...in an instant...they are gone.

You cannot tell them how much you truly love them... you cannot tell them how much they mean to you... you cannot tell them how thankful you are that they came into your life and made you a better person... you cannot tell them goodbye... you do not recover, the pain doesn't go away, you don't "get over it", you don't get "through it" and you certainly don't "move on".

The pain is there as strong as ever every day. You learn how to hide it when people are around...and then you just break down when alone. Time goes by and everyone thinks you are ok. They don't realize how bad you are hurting inside...each and every day. How everything you do is painful knowing that your loved one is not by your side...the one you were supposed to grow old with.

Everyone has their own battle they are fighting inside. Some people are fighting addiction, sickness, disease, financial difficulties, the list goes on and on. I am fighting grief. I am fighting the loss of the love of my life. I will forever be fighting this evil. Everyone has a battle that they are fighting daily... take that into consideration. Treat people with respect. Make them feel wanted and loved. No one's pain is the same, no one's battle is the same. Pain is unique...not in a good way... there are just so many forms of pain.

Please tell your loved ones that you do... "love them". Give them a kiss and hug every day...and mean it!!! Don't go to bed angry. Don't hang up the phone angry.

Jason and I were not angry at each other that day he was taken from me, ...the day he was killed... We were not fighting. Our last words were actually I love you and he said "I will do anything for my baby!" I know how much he loved me and he knew how much I love him. You just don't know when that final last moment will be for you and if/when it happens... it devastates you. Everything changes. You have to learn how to live all over again. It's a new way of living...and it's not easy!

I don't know why I am ranting like this. I guess I see and hear how people treat their spouses on a regular basis and it just eats at me inside. Don't be mad at others, they may be having an extremely difficult day. Don't just blow them off or ignore them. You are adding more pain to that person. Simply give them a hug, or a handshake, or a pat on the back. Sometimes even a smile will help.

I wish I had just one more chance with Jason. Love you, babe!!!