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Good afternoon, friends and family!
This Sunday, June 4 at 9:36 am will be the 6th year anniversary that I lost Dawn, my wife, to cancer.
She fought hard for over three years. During that fight I had been her primary caregiver and was certain we were going to beat cancer. People would often tell me how positive and inspiring I was, and Dawn even referred to me as her rock.
The day before, June 3, early Saturday morning, Dawn was scheduled for a surgery that was necessary for us to return for her clinical trial at the MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston Texas. About 10 minutes into that surgery, from across the room I saw her surgeon motioning for me. We met together in a small room, and he informed me that Dawn was not strong enough to survive the surgery.
He had rolled her on her side to make the incision and her heart stopped. He was able to resuscitate her, however, he knew her heart wouldn’t be strong enough. He told me that his best advice was that we should enjoy the remaining time that we had together.
How could this be? I had faith she would be healed. Was my faith not strong enough? I sat in disbelief across the room from Dawn who had remained unconscious through the night. They had taken down all her vitals monitors and were just trying to keep her comfortable.
That next morning, June 4, at 7:58 AM I received a text message from a friend that simply read “praying”. She also included a link to a video with the lyrics of a song I had never heard before. This song was by MercyMe and because I’m a fan I decided to put my earbuds in and give it a listen.
Right from the opening lyrics, the song spoke to me right where I was in that hospital room. As I listened to the lyrics, I wept. “Even if you don’t…my hope is you alone”.
What was my faith going to look like tomorrow? How about in the months or years to come? Knowing that I was losing Dawn was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done.
This Sunday morning at GR.Church I have the privilege to sing that song on the 6th anniversary of Dawn’s passing. Her passing really was her healing, her ultimate healing. She is now in the arms of Jesus.
I’ve embraced the lyrics of that song that says, “Even If, and It is Well”.
Please pray I’m able to share Gods blessing with this song on Sunday?
Thank you all!
GR.Church 4525 Stauffer Ave SE Grand Rapids, MI 49508
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That will be a lovely tribute to your wife.
Thanks for sharing
Another great blog entry, Marshall. Thank you, brother!
This is a very comforting and inspirational post for many of us, Marshall.